Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Randomize
