he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
they need to just BURY HIM!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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