so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
