i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
