I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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