I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
