i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
