your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
