i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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