had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She bit a glass in half.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
