So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize