There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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