whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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