honey bunches of taint.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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