I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
