Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
