Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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