I wish you could order shots online.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize