shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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