Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
