i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
