And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Randomize
