i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
