Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
