Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
