wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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