May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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