Soap is not a condiment
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Randomize
