I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
