The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
