i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
