I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
