Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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