he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
