I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
