i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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