Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
