Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
