I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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