I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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