meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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