I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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