you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize
