Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
