Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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