I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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