): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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