I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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