$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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