there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
