dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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