you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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