god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
