Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You made out with two different species that night
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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