Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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