i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
