@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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