Acid is not a monday night drug
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
