So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
