Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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