I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
